We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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