"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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