So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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