We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
