just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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