I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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