forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
