so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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