break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
