I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
