I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
