Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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