sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
