god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
