69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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