i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I faked an abortion last night.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
