Why does Corona taste like a burp?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
