this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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