he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
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