hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
