I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
