I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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