Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
