hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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