and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Let's paint friendship bongs
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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