if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
