can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
