My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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