I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
