i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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