i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
