I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
