Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
