I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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