i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
