And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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