The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He better not be in your backpack
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
What happened to fro yo and sex?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
