HIV tests are more positive than that guy
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
