Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
