Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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