We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
