Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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