Already got asked if we're dating
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
