I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
