Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
