We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
