At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
