He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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