So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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