You're my little dorito
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
