TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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