I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You smell like stripper and shame
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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