I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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